God's answer to Job

Obviously, Job gets it pretty bad, through no fault of his own. We are told that God considers him perfect in every way. But God lets the devil have reign over him. What follows is the troubling story of a suffering man, a man afflicted by the loss of his children, his cattle, his slaves, and if it weren't enough to just deprive him of all the trappings of a wealthy, land owning patriarch, (boo hoo), the devil gives him some form of chronic chicken pox.
Then a bunch of dudes with silly names, like Bildad, Zophar and Whirlygig, sit down and talk a bunch of smack on the poor man as he lay there, covered in boils.
Now, Job is being a whiny bastard, this is true. But his friends are worse, because instead of comforting him, they accuse him of wrong doing.
When God comes in the whirlwind he is thoroughly pissed.
He explains that everyone is wrong.
The friends are wrong because they blame the faultless, seeking to impose feeble human reason on the inexplicable universe, although a bet is really a rather shockingly human reason to do something stupid, like strip naked in a party, or jump a bike off a roof into a pool.
Anyway, God dosn't stop there. He has to answer all this repetitive wailing of Job's that seems to finally have got his attention like the mob of rapists outside Lot's hut.
He tells Job not to be such a whimp.
That's it.
He doesn't give him a reason why, because in this story God is a metaphor for that which we have no control over. The will of the universe. You, know, the blind fate(or ego maniacal, in this case) that casts a shadow on the evil and the good alike.
Everybody burns.
So in a way, the answer is what we get from any good father when we fall off our bike and sniffle: "I don't wanna do it anym-m-m-more!"
The answer is to stop being so damn worthless and learn to take a few cuffs every now and then.
Oh yea, and then Job gets a greater number of shit back then he lost in the tragedies. Whatever.